I Miss You So Much
by Ersiffa Narman
Summary: You Didn't even have to look at me. You could have just left me for dead. It would have been better that way. Maybe then I wouldn't have to go through the pain I feel today...


I Miss You So Much

By: Ersiffa Narman

_You didn't even have to look at me. You could have just left me for dead. It would have been better that way._ I thought to myself. _Maybe then I wouldn't have to go through the pain I feel today._

I have been staring at this ceiling for hours. Sleep seemed like a miracle right now.

It has been three days since Sonic the Hedgehog's death. Three days ago my whole world shattered. Now I'm left to pick up the pieces…

The alarm clock on my night stand went off, startling me from my revere. _I guess I have to get up._ I thought groggily. I got up from my bed and walked to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. I drew back from the image I saw.

I had dark bags under my bloodshot eyes, my quills were in I ruffled mess, and my face was pale. I looked away from the mirror and brushed my teeth.

_His funeral is today._ I thought as I stepped into the shower and turned on the water. The warm water relaxed me for a moment, but the pleasure left as another thought crossed my mind. _I wouldn't be here had he not have saved me._

I hate to say it, but I blame myself. Had he not have gone after me, he would still be here, bringing joy to the lives of people. But, no, he **had** to save me, didn't he?

He didn't know when to quit. He was so ignorant; he wouldn't even stop to save himself. He put everyone in front of himself, even when it meant his death.

I guess that's why I loved him. He may have acted selfish and cocky, but he was really a selfless and caring person. I don't know why he was that way; though, he never really talked about his past. Either way, his heroic efforts would be the end of him.

His death still lingers in my mind. The way he fell, the way he threw me from the building, it all felt like a dream, but it was just too real…

_There was a bright flash of light, and then a bang. An alarm sounded off. I lied there, unable to move. Sonic and the others had gotten out before the explosion, but I was still inside._

"_Amy! Amy!" I heard him call. _

"_Sonic! I'm here behind this pole! H-help!" I yelled through the smoke and flames. He saw me and picked me up at the speed of light. Running as fast as he could, he was just at the entrance when…_

_BAM! Sonic was thrown off his feet from the blast. Unable to get back on his feet, he threw me from the building just before it exploded…_

The only thing I suffered from was a broken leg, a fractured rib, and a broken heart. But Sonic, he suffered from agonizing pain, pain that doesn't even compare to what I'm going through right now. But, his troubles are over, and now I'm left with the heartache.

"I wonder how the others are feeling about this," I thought aloud. Tails is probably crushed for sure. Sonic was like an older brother to him, maybe even a father. I feel sorry for him, because now he has no one to look up to, except for maybe Knuckles…

Knuckles most likely won't come to the funeral. Knowing him, he'd probably be too depressed to go. Besides, he has to guard the Master Emerald, right?

Shadow is probably glad that Sonic is gone. He probably went home that night and did some kind of "black alien" ritual to celebrate. Hell, he could have had something to do with his death. After all, didn't he try to kill Sonic before?

I guess I shouldn't blame anybody else but me for his death. I mean, I am the one he had to go back in for. I should be dead; my life has no purpose without him anyway…

You know what's funny; I have to give his eulogy today. I have no clue what to say. This is supposed to be a celebration of his life, but there is no purpose to even try-

Before I knew it, I was back in my room, already dressed in my black mourning dress. I guess I really lost track of reality when I was thinking. I looked at the clock; it read 9:45. I guess I better be leaving for the funeral. I don't need to eat, even if I could, I wouldn't.

I walked out the door to be greeted by sunshine and peacefulness. It was a complete contrast to my mood. I almost wished that it would be dark and raining. The funeral home was only a few blocks from my apartment, and it wasn't long before I got there.

I stepped inside the building, immediately surprised by the amount of people in the chapel. Nearly everybody that I thought wouldn't come was there. Shadow, Knuckles, Rouge, and a few more people I didn't even recognize were there. And then, dead center in the room was Sonic. I decided to walk towards the casket.

He looked a lot different than the last time I saw him. It seemed like the cuts and bruises on his face had healed, and he looked completely peaceful. His eyes were closed as if he were sleeping. I almost wish they were open so I could see them one last time. But, there was no point to wish, he was never coming back, so why should I care anymore?

After looking at him for a few more minuets, I decided to snag a seat in the front row next to Tails.

"Hey," he greeted me weakly.

"Hey, Tails," I replied to him. He put his hand on my shoulder. I guess words didn't have to be used to be comforting. Unfortunately, it wasn't working. But, I couldn't let him know that, so I hugged him. We sat there and cried for a long time.

As soon as we let go of each other, the service started. The first person to speak was the mayor. He told us what we already knew, that he was a wonderful person and a great hero. After a few more people got up to speak, the most unlikely person to speak stood up at the podium. It was Shadow.

"The man in this casket did not deserve to die like this. He deserved to live on, and to carry on his skills to someone else. Instead, he is lying here, cold and hard as a rock. Remember that heroes do fall… and that we can't expect them to be there for us forever…" he stated.

My eyes must be deceiving me! He was tearing up at the podium, something I never thought he could be capable of. I guess he really did care for him, and the rest of us. But nothing could heal me, not even Sonic coming back to life.

It was my time to come up to the stand, and I did so quietly. I still didn't know what to say. I suppose I'll just have to improvise.

"You know me as Amy Rose, Sonic's 'number one fan girl'. You all probably think that I didn't really love him and just wanted the attention, but I really did love him… I loved him, and that was his ultimate demise. What most of you don't know is that the reason he's lying in that casket today… is because of me. He would still be here had I not have been in danger, and we would not be here, having this conversation on his life. I don't even think I should even be up here talking about him. So I'm not going to. He's gone, and you all will be able to carry on, but I won't. I'll waste away… but who cares? Sonic is gone, and I might be, too," I stepped down from the podium and went over to the casket, "Good-bye, Sonic the Hedgehog, I will always love you…" I decided to take my seat and wait for them to take him to the cemetery.

The pallbearers lifted him up and took him to the hearse. I and a few others followed suit. When we got to the cemetery, the aroma of fresh-dug soil and flowers wafted the area. From there, the pallbearers started to lower him into the ground. Once he was in the ground people began to leave. Soon, it was just me and Rouge standing in the cemetery.

"He was a great man…" She said to me.

"Yeah, he was…" I distantly replied.

"It's a shame… to be killed like that. But, that's just what his job description was," she said depressingly.

She put her hand on my shoulder, "I guess I'll leave you two alone, okay?" She said. I nodded back to her. I watched as the grave diggers covered the pit that contains my broken heart. They finished sooner than I thought they would, so I sat down next to the gravestone.

"Sonic, I know you can't here me, but I just want to say I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved myself. It's just a shame that I was never mature and good enough for you…good-bye, Sonic. I'll see you when I'm dead," I stood up and brushed off the dirt from my dress. I turned away from the place, vowing never to visit it again.

As I was walking back from the cemetery, I saw an oak tree, the same oak tree that me and Sonic would chase each other around on. I slightly smiled at the memory, but it soon faded as reality struck. I would never chase him again, I would never talk to him again, and I would never see him again, ever.

Why should I be around if all I'm looking forward to is a lifetime of pain? Maybe I should just commit suicide and get it over with. What do I have to live for anyway?

"HELP! HELP!" I was startled as I heard a small voice cry coming from my right. I looked in that direction and saw a little boy trapped in a burning house. I immediately took action. I broke through the front door and ran into the house. It seemed like the cry came from the room to my left. I bolted in that direction.

I saw the little boy waving out the window, trying to get some air. I hurriedly picked him up and dashed out of the house. As soon as I got out, there was a young woman standing out front, looking completely distraught.

I saw a look of complete relief wash over her face as I handed her the boy. The boy clung to her as if she was his only hope.

"Thank you for helping my baby. I am forever in your debt. How could I ever repay you?" she said to me in a Spanish accent.

I had just realized what I had done. I had saved someone, without Sonic by my side. In fact, I think Sonic helped me. I now understand what he meant when he said 'I would have done it all over again'.

"I think you've already repaid me," I said quickly. I decided to speed off before she could say anything else. I guess I just can't go and kill myself, because there are still people that need my help. They might need it more now that Sonic is gone. Though his heroic thoughts were the end of him, they were the beginning of me. Thank you, Sonic, for saving me, both when you were alive and when you were gone. You've given me a reason to live, even after you slipped through my fingers…

I love you, Sonic.

The End

**A/N: I do not own Sega or the Sonic the Hedgehog series. All Characters (Except for OC input) belong to Sega Corporation. **

**This is my first actual "Non-poetry work" that I have ever attempted. All types of constructive critisism is acceptable. Let me know if I should continue writing "Non-poetry work" or if I should continue writting poetry. Leave a review if you wish.**

**Thank you for reading**

**Ersiffa Narman**


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